Return of the White Werewolf is not my 2021 Halloween / Samhain Special. Okay, maybe it is. But I refuse to objectify him as Halloween fodder for the masses, as I have deep respect for him. This is simply what’s been going on in my life and it’s quite profound. I suspect people who cannot process horror go for the cheap thrills and junk food aspects associated with Halloween, and here we have it in its current form today. Then, of course, there are those of us who can process horror. Those of us who hunt it down, those who drag it out into the light of day; those who are getting evil off the planet. It’s to those beings this post is dedicated. I can see your light.
A few months ago, I wrote about — ahem — a literally hair-raising experience in which I spontaneously metamorphosised into, for all intents and purposes, a white werewolf. A white werewolf, who attacked and destroyed a demon from the notorious Amityville house. If that’s your cue to exit, that’s okay! Thanks for coming. You’ll definitely find generic content elsewhere. This blog is a bit different. I’m doing my own thing here. I don’t fit into a box of what many 21st century peeps think Kemetic neo-pagan practice is supposed to be; nor do I care anymore, about those pagans who bullied me out of a community. I’m done with all of that. The netjeru know me, and they know what I’m doing. Moreover, I’m doing what they guide me to do. My path is authentic; and when I’m not busy running around for work and uni, I’m flourishing. I’m resilient. I’m free. I’m me. If people want to hang out and come along for the ride, that’s great. If not, it’s fine. Peace out.
Thank you, for putting up with my little rant. I don’t think I’ve ever ranted on Kemetic Blog before. Anyway, back to the white werewolf. The conclusion I came to was that I had opened up a shape shifting ability. The intensity of this Subjective Mystical Experience and Encounter (SMEE) left no doubt in my mind, that from a spiritual perspective at least, it was 100% real. Intuitively, I felt that if I wanted to fully integrate this experience and benefit from its richness, I needed to honour it. I needed to sit down with the white werewolf and start asking questions. I needed to allow a shift to take place within my self and soul(s). No matter how ‘crazy’ that may sound objectively. This is a subjective reality, which follows its own set of rules. Many would agree, we’re in shamanic consciousness here. Deep down, despite the fearsome power of the white werewolf, which frightened me, I knew he was a completely benevolent being and a protector. Because my heart was pure, or pure enough, at least, I didn’t have anything to fear.
So I met with him. Isis / Aset was also present and from them, I downloaded spiritual information that flowed from the top of my head (or crown chakra) into my body. These downloads opened new insights and understandings, which I’ll do my best to share. It has to do with the relationship between human beings and those beings we see as gods; and with identity as a mutually shared phenomenon. There’s more to shape shifting — a deeper significance — than meets the eye.
Before I get into more of the meaning-making, which I’m still pondering on how to articulate, I’d like to share the latest episode of shape shifting into the white werewolf; another instance in which there was no separation between us — the identity of the white werewolf and myself, as an individual human being. (A third event also happened, which I’ll explain in just a moment).
I, as the white werewolf, was walking on all fours through the desert, in the bright harshness and heat of the day. None of it bothered me, for I was on the hunt. This creature, the reader may recall, detests evil and its mere presence serves as a catalyst for a lycanthropic transformation. Like a chemical reaction, if evil is present, the white werewolf cannot resist the urge to hunt and kill it. We aren’t talking about human beings who’ve taken a couple wrong turns in life, those with lessons to learn from their mistakes. We aren’t even necessarily talking about human beings who’ve given up their humanity to commit atrocities. We’re talking about pure evil, the evil behind the evil in this world and its agents.
There. Got ’em. I, The white werewolf, began digging furiously in the sand and probed with my snout until I found what I was looking for. I seized the black shadow mass in my jaws and began a series of savage jerking motions to yank it out from underground. Have you ever played tug-of-war with a dog? That’s what it looked like.
I pulled the demon free and intended to fry it in the sun. This time however, unlike last time, my transformation into the white werewolf had taken place in the dream-state. I was no longer holding the demon down under the sun, but had accidentally brought a demon into my bedroom in the middle of the night. Oh, sh*t I thought, I gotta be very careful not to let this thing loose in my house.
By then, I can only describe a merging of three aspects of identity that took place: me, the white werewolf and a divine being. Together, we became a god. We became exactly like an ancient Egyptian deity. I / we were a human body with the head of a white wolf. We took the demon but this time, we did not kill it. We quickly and easily opened a portal and tossed the demon into the dimension in which it belonged. Then, we reached down into the desert, pulled up another demon and tossed it. Just like that, it was gone. The three aspects of animal, human and divine identity had become a functional whole.
Coming away from this experience, I’ve been left with a number of life-changing realisations, that I can only present as my own Unverified Personal Gnosis (UPG). This is my truth. If it resonates with you, that’s awesome. I hope it assists you in some way. If it sounds like a load of crap to you, I hope you can go grow some flowers with it, or something. Whatever. What I’ve come to understand is I am this white werewolf and through shape shifting, the human version of me and he became one and together, we reach god-consciousness and god-manifestation. We made an evolutionary leap together ( I do believe Isis / Aset assisted the process).
What I am proposing is this is what the ancient Egyptian deities are, the animal-human gods. Ancient Egyptian humans — mystics — shape shifted and met with divine aspects of themselves and their peers. Then together, they met with their most divine aspects and became gods. I’m not saying all divine beings evolved in this way but some of them, yes absolutely! Some of them are an anthropomorphic combination of animal, human, and divine. It may not be everyone’s cup of ayahuasca. That’s fine. But if you’re bold enough, it’s there for you, if you want to drink it and go on this journey. (I’ll just clarify, that was a metaphor; I’m herb and drug free but I’m not opposed to the use of psychedelic herbs under professional guidance).
When I die and enter the afterlife, I know exactly where I’m going, who I need to meet with, and who I will become; a being with the body of a man and the head of a white wolf.
I don’t know what else to say about it. I feel like I’ve survived a slew of horrible past employers, horrible past relationships, horrible past communities and despite all the odds and all the forces that tried f*cking me up beyond repair, I have processed the horror. To me, that’s what Halloween is really about. I have won something so infinitely precious and valuable — I remember who I am. My hope for you, the reader, is that you can achieve it too, whatever your ultimate self may be for you. May the gods bless you and light your way, remembering that you are one and the same with Them.
Thank you, for reading Kemetic Blog. As always, stay safe and well.
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