My three-year relationship with my former fiancé recently crashed and burned before my eyes. I never saw it coming. Well, that’s not entirely true. I was warned by a team of ancient Egyptian deities and Spiritual Guardians before it happened, which allowed me to brace for impact, as it were.
I can’t recall exactly what I was doing when the warning came. Chillin’ like a villain? I don’t remember, although it would certainly change the course of my life forever. As with most Subjective Mystical Experiences and Encounters (SMEEs), it was completely spontaneous.
Out of the blue, it was like someone hit the pause button on everyday reality. My inner eye popped open. A spiritual being that looked like a man, rushed up to me from a corridor lined with hieroglyphics. This, I intuited, was a hall of records of some sort. A spiritual press room. The air around him was alive — with concern, I realised.
“Something is wrong and it’s going to hurt.” A strong voice loudly and clearly stated.
Over the past several months, I’ve learned to trust the netjeru and my ancient Egyptian Spiritual Guardians without reservation. I know they have my back and vice versa, so my immediate response was to go into damage control. Well, can we correct the issue, if possible, or prevent it from happening? If not, can we minimise the impact? Do we have more information about what or who the issue concerns? All I could get, was that it was someone or something close to me, this brewing problem or conflict, and it was imminent. I just didn’t know precisely what it was.
The messenger’s identity was revealed to me as that of an ancient Egyptian deity who was once a man. Amun-hotep, a god of light. I am not sure if this description matches up to any deities we know from antiquity, such as a pharaoh or scribe who became a god but this is what I intuit him to have been in life on Earth. In my experience, many of the ancient Egyptian deities and Spiritual Guardians are rather humble (except for Set, of course). If they are of high status, they don’t often declare it. It’s up to the seeker to catch those sorts of details.
After the warning, all I could do was brace for impact. When I was twenty-one, I was a passenger in a head-on collision. It was a pretty scary experience. We could see the car coming and we had no where to go, as we were on a snowy road heading out of Little Falls, New York with a cliff and no guard rails on one side and a car that slid into our lane on the other. The only option we had was to brace for impact, which allowed us to retain some illusion of control. That’s exactly what this warning felt like.
What the new impact would be, I did not know. I couldn’t hear anymore messages and the vision faded. I could, however, feel the silent strength of the netjeru around me — I knew I wasn’t alone and I felt supported. All I could do was send out positivity and prepare myself for whatever was coming. Once again, as when I was twenty-one, the only option I had was to brace for impact. Psychologically and spiritually, I did this to the best of my ability. Still, I went out and grocery shopped for the week, did some chores around the house and I finished a post for Kemetic Blog on peer violence. I didn’t stop any of my usual routines, nor did I hide from the world. What would be, would be regardless of anything I did or did not do.
Never before had a vision proven itself to be more accurate. Later that afternoon, at about 5 pm, which was on Valentine’s Day, my partner of three years and fiancé told me that he cheated. It happened on a Monday and he waited for six days, on Valentine’s Day, which fell on a Sunday, to tell me.
I broke up with him, then later back pedalled and said I would forgive him. That’s when he asked for a break, so he could explore (his word, not mine) and figure out who and what he wanted. I decided to help him make that decision by moving on. I had to. It was the only way. When someone you love does something like that to you, it’s time to stop thinking about how much you love that person and start thinking about how much you love yourself, because if you are willing to put up with that kind of behaviour, you’re failing to protect yourself from danger and you can’t expect your pantheon and team of Spiritual Guardians to bail you out of something like that. If you place yourself at the mercy of someone who clearly no longer values you, you’ve got a serious problem. As painful as it was, I had to move on. Of course, this decision would send shockwaves through my entire being, but it had to be done.
Because I was forewarned, I took it much better than I would have if I didn’t know something was coming. The opportunity to brace for impact made a huge difference in my healing and recovery. Nothing could stop the grief and aftermath of a broken heart, of course. Healing takes time, it takes work, it’s ours alone to tackle and no one can really do the work for us. It’s something we have to face ourselves but not alone.
The entire trajectory of my life changed. Who I was, or thought I was. Where I was going, or thought I was going. My whole life was shaped by this person and all that was gone. Still, the alternative was too terrible to imagine: if I didn’t deal with it, it was going to mess me up for a long time to come and I couldn’t let that happen. I had to process it. If someone throws you away like a piece of garbage, it certainly does not mean that you are. More than likely, they are! If they don’t love you, you need to love yourself. If they no longer value the person you are, you need to value the person you are.
Admittedly, the relationship was long distance. He lived in the Philippines and I live in Australia. We met in 2018 — pre COVID, obviously — and had not seen each other for over a year. My last trip to the PH was booked for June, 2020 and we were going to attend Manila Pride together. Then COVID hit the world. Pride was cancelled and QANTAS of course, credited my flight. We didn’t know when we would see each other again. We held on for a long time. I was hoping a vaccine would become available in Australia and make it safer to travel but we didn’t make it. He got lonely. He’s human, apparently. I forgave him but we both needed to move on. There were other issues and complications, such as him changing his mind about coming to Australia and deciding to stay in the Philippines to become a doctor. He wasn’t out to his parents and still lived with them. There were spiritual concerns as well, which go beyond the scope of this post, which I may share one day in further detail, if it’s still relevant. It has to do with my ex’s soul essence and what he was on an energetic level, which I saw and became aware of long before the break-up. But something tells me, it’s no longer relevant! It’s over now. I’m free. We’re both free.
It’s interesting how a virus, a particle smaller than a piece of dust, could end so many lives and so many relationships and by the same token, create new ones, too. It’s very soon after — just one month — perhaps some would say too soon, but I’ve started dating again. I’m not stopping. I’m not laying down and dying. I’m looking to the future. I have a new life ahead of me now. It never would have been possible, without the warning I was given by Amun-hotep and I am so grateful for his assistance, which allowed me to brace for impact.
Thank you, as always for reading Kemetic Blog. I’ve been pretty quiet and updating less of late. There was the break up to deal with, a new semester at uni has started and work stress often runs high. On a positive note, I have a new love interest, who I’m currently exploring possibilities of my own with. Best wishes to my readers. Take care of yourselves and never settle for less than you deserve — and you deserve the very best. With love!
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